My life is extremely frustrating right now. I actually can’t remember when life wasn’t tumultuous. Nothing is ever right and never has been. Every time I open my mouth I’m misunderstood. Nobody truly gets me. Some may say they do, but they really don’t. There may be a few folks that halfway get it. Makes me want to simply cease conversation with people. I literally feel like I have to keep dialogue to a minimum. It doesn’t make sense to waist the energy.
I have a difficult time communicating more often than not. I recurrently draw blanks in the middle of conversations. I can forget where I’m going with my stories or statements, which is very frustrating for me! The person I am engaged in conversation with usually wants me to finish the story and I am sitting there blank. I’ll spend a couple of seconds trying to retrieve the thoughts that were there initially. More often than not it does not come back. It really grinds my damn gears when I can’t recall what I wanted to say.
I also have a tendency to forget details from conversations. It does not matter if the conversation was 10 minutes ago or 2 days ago. It leaves others resentful when it is something significant to the person. This flaw gives people the impression I am not listening and couldn’t care less what they are talking about. This is so far from the truth, especially for those I truly care about. It can even be as bad as in the middle of a conversation I’ll just get lost….a one second thought can ruin a conversation and leave the person with ill feelings towards me.
Communicating shouldn’t be this difficult. I guess I plan to combat this with more meditation, which is still a challenge for me. Make myself slow down my thoughts when talking and responding to people. I know my anxiety is a huge factor in this.