Once upon a time a man walked in my life and we have been inseparable ever since. At a time I had given up on relationships and all that stuff. He came along and the connection was undeniable.
Worried about if or when I’d mess it up. This had been somewhat of a pattern. I can be quite the handful when I’m out of balance. Luckily he is a patient and compassionate man. I often put him through so much, yet he always has my back. No matter what, he’s shown and proven on a number of occasions.
I sometimes have a difficult time expressing emotions and displaying affection. You know… hugs, kisses, woman’s touch stuff. I’m often in my head and not very engaging. I’m a little rough around the edges at times. I think I know where that may stem from, but that can be discussed later in detail.
I genuinely feel so much love for this person. I think this may be the first time I’m really “in love”. If I don’t correct my behavior/attitude/mood I’m not sure how long he can stick it out. For right now he’s still here and I have a chance to improve.
I guess I need to let go, trust, and do what feels right. I feel like I want to display physical affection, but often don’t. If I acted more on my feelings and didn’t restrain myself I’d probably be better off. I guess I’ve never let anyone get this up close and personal. That can be a tad bit frightening. Fear has rarely stopped me though…..
Random late night thoughts