Never quite fitting in with my peers or family I was forced to find my own path. Childhood was quite interesting and possibly helped me to develop the issues I struggle with now. I’ll touch on that at a later date though.
I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for over ten years now. I’ve found things that work or me and things that do not work for me. I am at the point where I realize my mental health is similar to working out. I must actively engage in activities that I know will benefit me mentally and spiritually.
As a Black woman from an inner city it is often difficult to find other women to relate to what you are going through. I find that people will listen and act concerned, but frequently cannot comprehend the effect anxiety has over a person’s life. Many feel that it is something that can be prayed away with the quickness or medicated away in the snap of a finger. We know different as sufferers plagued by these obstacles. I am not completely opposed of medication at this time. I do recognize that it may be needed for some people to manage their symptoms. My grandmother use to tell me to “give it to the Lord and He’ll take care of it for you”. I found myself trying to do this, but it never did the trick for ME.
There are times when I will distance myself from family, friends, and lovers because I feel that the burden I deal with should not be their problem too. I feel that there are not enough young Black women that discuss anxiety and depression. It’s a hidden thing for many. Even in my own family, majority of my family do not know or understand what I deal with each and everyday. Anxiety is a weakness, but I am NOT WEAK. At it’s core anxiety stems from fear, but I am NOT AFRAID. This is something I and many others battle, but you only lose if you give up. This is a constant fight and is not for the faint of heart.